Welcome to my Blog: Surviving an Abuser

After leaving a toxic abusive relationship, it can be very easy to fall back into another toxic relationship. Therefore you start looking for a safe relationship. Safe is good, healthy, and well, safe. What I have learned by finding someone safe is that, after time, they are not quite what the soul is craving. They are not quite what fills the needs and desires we have, but, they are safe.

The safe version most likely fits what was on the checklist you had made. That checklist was a list of all the things you had learned throughout your abusive/toxic relationship. The list of what you knew you would need or couldn’t deal with. The must have and have nots.

It is nearly impossible to find that person that is safe, yet fills all those hidden needs, desires and wants that make you go OMG where have you been my whole life! We generally don’t realize these needs were so important until years pass by. By then, we’ve gotten use to the safe, while our souls are still craving something…..more, something…..missing.

What do we do at that point? How do we stop our minds from straying, from wanting to look for that….something? I don’t think we can easily stop our minds – the thing is, how do we stop ourselves….from straying, looking, searching.

Your heart and your mind knows you could never take that chance of giving up on SAFE because the fear of being back into a toxic/abusive relationship outweighs that something missing.

All I can say at this point is….Damn, life is hard.

Once you have figured out what you soul is craving, what your inner desire is searching for, try talking to your significant other about those desires. If they are willing to work on these desires with you then you are one lucky person. You can have the best of the best kind of relationship that everyone strives to have.

If they are not willing, then, Damn, life is hard.

I have a post about the 5 Love Languages, If you take a look at that post, go over what your love language is, you may be able to work through these feelings of ”what’s missing.”

HAPPY READING 📖