Welcome to my Blog: Surviving an Abuser

My feelings

Having firm boundaries

Saying no to something I’m not interested in doing

Being emotional or crying

Needing to take a break

Asking for clarity when I don’t understand

How others behave

Not agreeing with someone

Putting myself first and taking ‘me’ time

Not settling for less than I deserve

Letting go when I need to

Healing at my own pace

Having my own thoughts

Having my own things to do

This list was on Facebook today, and I wanted to share it. After my divorce from my abuser I found myself making lists of all the things that I had started to realize about myself, and about other people. As I would start to hang out with groups and notice how the single men would act, and behave, I started adding things to my list about men’s personalities and behaviors that I knew I couldn’t handle.

My list helped me to realize the type of person I would need in my life so I didn’t have a repeat of my past.

I had grown up being attracted to the manly man type of guy, and after being single for awhile I found that type of guy was the very type I couldn’t handle being around.

They tended to be more aggressive in nature, overbearing, loud, and hard to be around for longer than a few minutes. 

I realized I needed to change my way of thinking and start paying attention to the way the more quiet type of guy behaved, and who was more suited to my personality.

By doing this I found my future husband and soul mate. He truly was everything on my list and more.