Welcome to my Blog: Surviving an Abuser

Sexual assault

Sexual violence often occurs alongside other forms of abusive behavior from your partner like: physical abuse, emotional abuse, and coercive control.

-Does your partner make attempts to cut you off from friends that don’t like him or agree with him? 

-Is your partner jealous and get upset with the amount of time you spend away from them? 

-Is your partner insulting you, putting you down, saying you’re worthless, and saying or making you think you can never do something right? 

-Is he or she making decisions for you and not letting you think or talk for yourself? 

-Is your partner destroying things you love and were gifted to you from family or friends?

These are all warning signs that you have an abusive partner.

Women and even men who experience marital or intimate partner sexual assault usually do not realize that it is rape. Rape from a partner can also include sexual exploitation, which is when you are coerced by your partner to engage in sexual acts with someone else.

This type of sexual assault from a partner includes coercion and forced intercourse. They will also use physical abuse before, during, and/or after. The violence can include choking, slapping, holding you down and watching while he forces you to have sex with another person. 

The abuser will tend to withhold affection if their sexual demands are not met, they will make you use sex to prove your faithfulness to them. You fear telling them ‘no’ and if you do you will face all kinds of accusations and abuse. You will feel ‘used’ as if your feelings are of no concern. It’s all about your partners needs, wants and desires. His Control.

The psychological effects you will begin to have include shame, confusion, depression, suicide, PTSD, anxiety, fear, self-blame, low self-esteem, and guilt.

It will take awhile to work through the effects of sexual abuse. Number 1 is to make sure you are away from the abuser through divorce or separation.

Make sure you are in a safe place and feel secure. You will then need to get some therapy or counseling. Talk to your physician and start talking to those who love you and want to help you heal.

You can then start finding peaceful things to do that will help you relax and start to release the stress that has been consuming your whole life.

Work on loving and taking care of yourself.

Know that these things were ‘done’ to you, it is not ‘who’ you are.